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Edwin Torres
Portorico N Prague
Mami, n Praha . . . they call me PORTORICO,
WE-GO finding Smelly Gambas, Zlutty Pies! ME-NO fine
Coco Rico! Pokey pine-bit Gumby quits. SIT
in KLUBOJEZD: TUNNY FISH, today’s special.
Klubbed-to-ded ‘Czesky Sandwich, face it open
mama-boy! Ain’t got the big one
powder lout! DUMPLING, Two for the boo-boo,
drinkle sprinkle on a comrade . . .
KAMERAHD, 5 und glass iss fifteeeen . . . das 5?
Jahno but, wit glass . . . joo-no? O.K.!
“Maj-eht-mup-up-MA-body, Maj-eht-mup-up-MA-body”
Push him-throw, pushim tro! pushim-pushim-pushim-DOWN!
Don’t put me down, sugar-cake HI,
Square Hi, I . . . getta PRAHA
Square Pra-HI, getta namsky-HI-Censlas-Square, when?
WENCESLAS, das wen!
Senseless is the square, the HI, the root of my CZECH-potenous
is an oppotous-poppotamous-opportunis-t . . .
Karuna-Poof! “Muzi-jet-muzi; Zeny-jet, zeny-jet”
Kava the kava can smedlou, Oh milk? Jah-
Mlekme No? Jah. Yes. Ano? Ne? Melk, Mla, Mlajo, Niet? Me?
Mami, n pra, HA . . . Si is Ano y No is Ne…
they gotta No in Si . . . yo no know dat!
Y’let . . . let . . . plip-plip-PLAP!
Saran Wrap coffee drips a wind-up doll off m’ mouth.
Instant ‘feinne-ca, no real JA-va . . . hmmmmm . . .
I smell estrellas en la noche . . . pero no ayyy
Bustellos, coche-coche . . . ayyyy bien-digo, I would matta
for a real cup of Cappu-ciata!
Cabo-Calloway, o’Tropi-CANNA . . . some fresh-squeezed
loboto-boppin’ top RAMONES-ish, E-MAN style E.T.
on his way to save the walls from regimes that-go-TECH.
Communist-Regimes’ this-go-HECK-Boom-Boom-Boom!
ooooh . . . just gotta bouncin’ arounding Fe-Czech arousin’ me neck . . . see
swan butt-swanna see-I-wanna drown in tender ground, til the lobe
of tender glands. “Nezna Zlaza”
Jewish lined poplars—raids of serenity give peace
a dance . . . oooh baby, do you wanna chance?
…and I drift into civil confection:
o sweet motherland
tooth, of decaying homes, of the brave abuelitas
of the mountains’ majesty, sailing mangos
y quatros . . . Shango papi…
why P.R. tongues be vowelin’
the way P.R.HAHA tongues be consonantly kissin?
. . . be rollin’ q’s . . . french-strokin’ the r’s . . .
rrrRIPPER-POP-POSEY-BIT-LEPROSY,
Madboy Hottentot BREAKS
my DREAMocracy
winklin’ a moptop Lincoln, lookin’ like a Lennon lookalike
upsidedown AND pineapple . . .
(no don’t know what that means
neither . . . SI, Yo No Know Dat) . . . anyway . . .
…this Moptoppin’ Badboy enters KlubOjezd, all
a-brilly-a-blidit-a-we will go, yu know? SCHNITZIN’ wit me!
S’up, Birdy Num-Num?
Go-Go-Boot ripped jeans, leggin’ a goose-step
doin’ the Norwegian! A strut
to harden the ON in his head . . . SMACK the lard
on MY table, will ya? WHY FO?
DON’T PUT ME DOWN . . . sugar-cake!
Put me IN for a handfulla crowns,
Hey Lord, is a savior in my hands
worth up a straight, diamond die, to the two,
of the one in my heart…do I tell
Chico-Czecho-Johnny here, freedom was his all along?
“Maj-eht-mup-up-MA-body, Maj-eht-mup-up-mup-upmup-up. . . go
the walls of lace curtains to hide behind.
The grapes of Moravia sing like Ramona’s daddy Lad-is-love
spreadin’ alto-wings and Ginnie holds the wonder
of another mami, n pra, HA they
PREEN the PUBE in PUBLIC . . . a universal ZIT
afflicting the oil spill of international adolescence—DEEP lessons bro,
deeeeep. Comb out the lice in your newfound freedom,
you-G-O-O-O-O-T-it!
Su Barrio Es Mi Barrio,
ah-G-O-O-O-O-T-it!
KLUBOJEZD,
Mi Malo Mud Lub without the C,
BGB—where the local chokies Czech me out.
Where the rubles smeck like
Downtown Mexico.
Germo Curly.
Spano Moe.
Italo Larry.
Bull Balls,
floating in broth . . . take astern-vantage OFFA-
JIRI-SMLEK-YOU-
WILL-WICK-VIC-
LA-MIEGNER-HA-HA,
MA MAN, E.T. nods off now . . .
(groove out the Z offa consumate consonatta)
hu-hu (snore) moy-moy (snore)
eman-oog, s-s-k, k . . . (snore, snore)
week. week. leg-leg . . .
The Futuuruum is 182, but who give you
Bobo-chesiak’s HOT AIR?
Who gives you towns that grow hair for the ladies, then cuts them…
big as adolescent boys’ fantasies? oodles of strudle hills
where the land is golden soup sunsets . . .
“Muzi-jet-muzi”
hemians BO-BIGGUNS-ground BIGGER than they care to lie
about.
Poesidente Pavlavlavlel,
Pa’s Love Laugh’s Well . . . something like that . . .
is chompin’ a red gerk at the Halvah Bar,
painting a portrait
with words of vision
while the White House Dick
uses paint-by-number points-of-light.
Superman’s rival is a game of concoction
let’s see who sees through who first.
KLUBOJEZD: where dead Led
has Zepper in bed, where a zipper
is better and quicker but dumber, and a curve
is a letter to the home in my loins.
A rape of an eagle for glandular meters, tender glands
sweeter than Luci-e’s chambo . . . late night cambio
for the tak-see, mami, n Pra-HA
they call me PORTORICO . . . HA HA . . .
This piece was created from many notes,
memo pads and journal entries which I’d written during a two-week vacation in
Prague. The Czech language was interesting to me, with its consonants and
hard sounds . . . a real break from all the vowels I was used to. I carried
some kind of writing pad everywhere . . . writing down conversations I
thought I heard, mostly in public spaces. The jumps from Spanish to Czech to
Czechlish are rhythmic more than anything. Between accent and alliteration,
characters emerged . . . both phonetic and real. I wanted to combine a
certain narrative element with a very specific “foreign language” element.
I felt like a misplaced tourist, and being a misplaced foreigner on my own
soil already . . . brought out a certain . . . irony . . . to the situation.
This probably accounts for any sarcasm running throughout the piece
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