Humor

Humor is effective for several reasons. First, when men make offensive remarks, if someone protests, they retort: ``Can't you take a joke?'' When a woman uses humor to protest an offensive remark, she can offer the same response if challenged. Additionally, humor breaks tension and often allows one to point out that something is wrong without a direct confrontation.

One female computer professional told the following stories:

• Shortly after my appointment, my boss, V.P. of Administration, called a meeting to discuss the problems of the center. All of the attendees were male and deans or equivalent high positions. The discussion in that meeting was quite heated with adamant remarks about the problems in computing on campus. Towards the end of the meeting, one of the attendees started pounding on the table and reviewed the names of the previous male directors of the center, ending with the comment, `No offense meant, [Jane], but we need a man in this job.' I responded with, `I'm willing to do almost anything to fix the problems in the Computer Center, but a sex change operation is out of the question.'

  That turned out to be the perfect response --- I got my point across and it broke the tension with laughter. The moral of this story is, that if you can make your point with humor, the message goes down easier.

• Another time, I received in the mail an advertisement from a company that sells disk drives. The advertisement was included in a box that contained Havana cigars. (Obviously, this company assumed that the mailing list they had of CIO's were all men). I wrote a letter to the VP of marketing for the company telling him that I thought that one of his competitors were trying to undermine the intelligence of his marketing organization by sending cigars to female decision makers in his company's name. Two days later, I received a federal express delivery from him --- it was a bottle of perfume with a letter of apology. I thought his response was a good recovery.

[W]hen I first starting teaching 13 years ago, I was married at the time and both my husband and I had teaching positions in the same department. My department head was sitting in my class (at the time we were in a joint math and CS department and my department head was retraining). [O]ne day, one of my students referred to me as Mrs. [Smith] in class and I was feeling pretty frustrated by that point since I had noticed that I kept getting called `Mrs.' while my husband was [called] `Dr.', so I looked at him and said `What do you call Karl?,' and he replied `Dr. [Smith]'. So I told him that I'd appreciate it if he would use the same title for me since I had the same degree. Well, he wasn't the type to quiet down quickly, so he retorted, `And what does Karl think of your feeling that way?,' to which I replied angrily, `It doesn't matter what he thinks; it was a helluva lot harder to get a Ph.D. than it was to get married.' Word apparently got out to the students after that because I wasn't called `Mrs.' for quite some time. (Of course, I was shaking by the time class ended wondering what my department head thought of that reaction. He never did say anything about it.)

Female computer scientists have combined the techniques, role reversal and humor, as in the following incidents:

• A female computer scientist reported:

  A few years ago I was at a workshop held way out in the country.... There were about forty people there. I don't remember how many were women, but there couldn't have been many.

  At one point we were sitting around singing, and after a while someone started one of those make-up-a-verse of your own affairs.... It went around for a while, and someone offered,

  I know a girl, her name is Jill.
  dum-de-dum de dum-dum-dum-dum
  She won't do it, but her sister will.
  dum-de-dum de dum-dum-dum-dum
  

  Well, I can't carry a tune in a bucket, but I co-opted the next verse:

  I know a guy, his name is Bill.
  dum-de-dum de dum-dum-dum-dum
  He won't do it, but his brother will.
  dum-de-dum de dum-dum-dum-dum
  

  Everyone laughed, and I thought the matter was settled. But some people won't give up, and a few rounds later, the same fellow came around with:

  I know a girl, her name is Sue.
  dum-de-dum de dum-dum-dum-dum
  She won't do it for me, but she'll do it for you.
  dum-de-dum de dum-dum-dum-dum
  

  Drat! Can't back down now ... I got as far as:

  I know a guy, his name is Lou....
  

  when the rest of my colleagues shouted down the offender.

• A female computer science graduate student reported the following incident:

  A [campus] career recruitment poster, several years ago ... made quite a splash. The poster portrayed two men in shirts and ties picking up a printout off a line printer, dropping the fanfold paper all over the floor as they ogled at a woman walking by in a miniskirt. The caption: `We think about more than just work here at [Company Name].' Outraged women began tearing the posters off the walls, then (insert light bulb here) they instead made photocopies and put them up in great numbers all over campus. Meanwhile, the recruiters figured out something was wrong and tried desperately to get rid of them. A number of women went to the recruitment talk to disrupt it, and found that they were the only ones there. Several hack posters were created, for example one with two women in businesslike garb poring over a printout while a scantily clad beach-boy type walked by, with the caption, `We think about more than just sex here at [Company Name].' I believe the president of the company issued a formal apology afterward. This one is notable as much for the reaction of the student body as for the poster itself.